Title: How the Sky Became Blue
Pairing: Orlando/Elijah, Viggo/Sean Bean, Dom/Billy implied, Liv
Summary: Well, you didn't think it was always that colour, did you? *huffs* Honestly.
Notes: An AU was requested and I have always felt that 'AU' meant something waaaay out in left field. Beta'd by the wonderful lisabellex. Thank you.
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction, which means that while the characters depicted are based on public personas of real celebrities, the events described in the story never happened. This story in no way claims to represent the truth about the people mentioned within or the way they would behave.
In the beginning, dear children, the Jinn Major, also known as Viggo, gathered together the grey dust that was all that the Great Emptiness held and rolled it between the palms of his hands.
He rolled and rolled, dear children, and all the Jinn, the Jinn Minor, watched.
When the sphere that formed became too wide for the span of his great arms, he made the first of three askings.
As one, the Jinn raised their hands. They held the sphere aloft and it rolled faster and faster. When it could go no faster, Viggo, stepped back.
Around and around went the sphere. Resting lightly in the hands of the Jinn, it became larger and larger still, sucking dust into itself.
It spun so quickly in their hands, dear children, that sparks flew. Yet still they held it aloft and Viggo gathered the sparks and pressed them between his palms. Smaller and tighter than the dust, the sparks burned brightly. When they were packed as tight as could be, Viggo set the glowing ball above the sphere of dust and that, dear children, was the sun.
Still the sphere spun and still the sparks flew but Viggo made sure not to catch them all. Some he patted into the sun, but others he let go. Those he let go, dear children, became the stars.
Viggo then placed his hands on the sphere and his fingers dug deep, making deep valleys here and high mountains there. "Enough," he said finally and all the Jinn dropped their arms and the sphere slowed. It slowed until it moved at a pace where all could see its shape and form as it revolved before them.
The Jinn looked at what had been created and wept, for the Great Emptiness was no longer empty. On the tip of one great finger, Viggo collected a tear from each of the Jinn and there were so many, dear children, that when he touched them to the sphere they filled the valleys so that the deep places were covered in clear salty water.
Then Viggo made the second asking.
At his command, each Jinn breathed upon the sphere and the things that they most desired in their hearts and thoughts sprang forth to walk or swim or fly or crawl or slither or grow for the first time onto the sphere.
When he saw it was done, Viggo made the third and greatest asking.
The world, for that is what it was, dear children, was dull and grey. So in his great wisdom, Viggo said, "Give me the best of your hearts and thoughts that I might fill the world with brilliance."
And for the most part, dear children, they did.
Orlando crumpled up the last memo and tossed it into the bushes that had begun pushing up through the grey dust only moments before.
"Bollocks to that," he huffed. What the hell was Viggo playing at? There had been only one thought in his head when the second memo had arrived. What was all this 'best' shit about anyway?
Orlando was pretty sure he had better find out.
He stepped around the bushes and the slender trees, which moment by moment were reaching farther up into the sky, and wobbled one-leggedly when he found there was no place to put his foot down.
"What the fuck?" he muttered, stepping gingerly back into the bushes.
The ground in front of him writhed and seethed.
"Rabbits," said a muffled voice from under what appeared to be a fluffy white hill.
"What are you doing?"
"Well," said Liv, leaning up on one elbow and pushing rabbits from her chest, "When I made them, there were only two and I'm trying to figure out why there are now hundreds of the little fuckers."
"And have you?" asked Orlando, bending down to get a closer look at on of them.
"Well, it's kinda hard to see. It is happening awfully fast, but it looks to me like there are boy rabbits and girl rabbits and when they fuck, the end result is more rabbits."
"Wow," said Orlando. "Who would have thought?"
"Well, duh!! Viggo, of course!"
"But, I mean... eeewww," said Orlando, wrinkling his nose. "It'll take all the fun out of fucking if that keeps happening."
"Don't be silly! It only happens when it's boy and girl. And how often is that gonna happen unless you're a rabbit?" She guffawed loudly. "Not bloody often, I'll bet you. Viggo's not stupid. Boy on boy? Girl on girl? Nothing. You can stop worrying."
And Orlando did, until he remembered own his little problem. Brushing rabbits aside, he stretched out next to Liv and, with deliberate casualness, asked "So, Liv, you gave Viggo a rabbit?"
"What? No! These are just things for me. Things I thought of and desired. You know, like the roses and puppies and snowflakes and butterflies and ponies and kittens and..."
"Hang on. You made all those things?"
"And what? You gave Viggo a really big rabbit?"
"No, silly. I gave Viggo the thing I most desired."
When Orlando peered about expectantly and then looked cautiously under a rabbit, Liv made a grand sweeping gesture with one arm, encompassing the whole sky. "There. See? There."
When Orlando continued to look puzzled, she proudly spelled it out. "Clouds, Orlando. My beautiful unicorn is what made all those lovely fluffy, white clouds. And," she went on excitedly, "it made everything else that's now white, white as well. Isn't Viggo clever!"
"Hey! That's pretty cool. So when do you get the unicorn back?'"
ë"I don't think I do. Maybe when Viggo wants a different colour for the clouds? But it's okay. I know Viggo will take good care of it."
Orlando stood up abruptly, scattering rabbits carelessly.
"Hey! Mind the bunnies, asshole!"
"Sorry! Sorry," responded Orlando, tip-toeing out of the heaving white mass with exaggerated care.
Orlando was now officially in a hurry.
Unfortunately, it was slower going back than it had been coming, what with everything looking so different now.
The trees were taller and the grass was long and thick. There was a whole host of different plants and animals inhabiting every bit of free space.
As the forest got deeper and darker, creatures begin to appear that, Orlando suspected, might well eat rabbits for lunch. He decided this was not a bad thing considering the recent change to the 'fucking policy'.
Over the course of the last two hundred or so metres, he had been hissed at, snapped at and chased up a tree.
A sudden rustling of leaves in the adjacent tree made Orlando freeze. Whatever it was, it was BIG. And it was getting closer.
Orlando clung tightly to the smooth trunk and eyed the thin branches above him. They offered no escape, so he readied himself to drop back down and take his chances on the forest floor.
Then Orlando heard, "Fuck. I'm fucking stuck. Fucking, fucking Dom."
He nearly fell out of the tree when the voice shouted, "Dom! You bastard! Not only are you a prize cunt, but you're a fucking prick as well!" The leaves rustled furiously for a few seconds and then went still.
"Uh, Bills?" Orlando called cautiously, pushing leaves side.
"Orlando?" Branches rustled and snapped and suddenly Billy was revealed. Almost all of him was revealed in fact, as he was wearing nothing but a sporran slung loosely around his waist.
"Yeah. Hey, man. How are you doing?"
"Good, good. But thanks to bloody Dom, I've lost my kilt."
'Kilt?' thought Orlando, but instead said, "Dom?"
"Yes, Dom!" snapped Billy. "The little shit," he muttered under his breath.
"But you love, Dom!"
"Aye, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't kill the little fucker given half a chance."
"What's he done now?"
"You know the second memo?"
"Yeah", said Orlando uncomfortably, not really wanting to be reminded of it.
"I told Dommie. 'Remember, it's Viggo who's doing the asking. Think very fucking carefully before desiring every friggin' nightmare lurking in that screwed-up head of yours.' But does he listen to me? Does he fuck!"
Billy rubbed at the row of fine teeth marks decorating his ankle.
"The least he could bloody do is keep them on a lead. Thank Christ, he gave Viggo the dragon. I mean, it wasn't even house-trained!"
'Dragon' he got the gist of-- I mean this was Dom they were talking about and it followed that he'd think of something big and scary-- but, "Christ?" asked Orlando.
"Friend of Astin's. Nice guy."
"Oh." Then with studied nonchalance, Orlando asked, "So, Bills. What did you give Viggo?"
"Mars Bars. But only the deep fried ones. Here, try this." And Billy reached into his sporran and offered Orlando something that looked an awful lot like a turd.
"Okaaaay," agreed Orlando dubiously, taking it carefully between thumb and forefinger. He sniffed it cautiously. It may have looked like a turd, but it smelled divine.
"Wow," said Orlando stickily, around the first bite. "And the deep fried ones are better?!? Is that even possible?"
Billy merely looked smug.
"What's Vig done with it?"
"Dunno. But it's a fucking work of art, so whatever it is, it had better be good."
"Mmm," mumbled Orlando in agreement, sucking melted chocolate from his fingers.
Abnormally thoughtful and unusually distracted, Orlando suddenly asked, "You don't have any more of these, do you?"
His newly-acquired box of Mars Bars in hand, Orlando was really eager to get home.
Leaving Billy, he climbed through the tree tops as far a he could, and then dropped to the ground and ran like hell.
Finally, he was home.
In his absence, 'home' had improved immeasurably. The barren landscape was now a meadow covered in soft grasses and pretty flowers. The waterfall that hid the entrance to the cave was bracketed by climbing vines. Lilies floated in the crystal clear water. Birds and butterflies abounded.
It really was very lovely.
But, it was also rather empty.
Firmly suppressing his rising fear, Orlando scanned the meadow and pond, and then walked quickly to the cave entrance.
The natural light from the long fissure in the roof of the cave, cast a soft, low light and it was a moment before his eyes adjusted.
He sagged with relief when he finally saw his heart's desire, nestled safely on a pallet of fragrant grasses. He put the Mars Bars down, shucked off his clothes and crept on to the pallet. He curled himself around the smooth warm curve and rubbed his cheek against the dark tufty curls. He smoothed a hand down the fine pale skin and marvelled.
Really, he could hardly believe he had something so perfect in him.
"Elijah," he breathed softly in to the shell-like ear. He nibbled the soft lobe, pinching it lightly between his teeth when there was no response.
"Orli?" mumbled Elijah sleepily and rolled over and against Orlando's body. He happily nuzzled Orlando smooth chest, before opening his eyes and to smile up at him.
"What've you been eating, dude? You smell amazing."
Orlando would have answered, but at the bright blue flash of Elijah's eyes opening, his thought processes ground to a halt. He could only stare, drowning in their endless depths and brilliant colour.
There really was nothing like them in this world.
He came back to himself when he became aware of Elijah, snapping his fingers a hair's breadth away from Orlando's nose. "Dude," said Elijah with feeling. "You've gotta stop doing that. It's freaking me out here."
"Sorry," apologised Orlando, focusing on his mouth.
"That's more like it," said Elijah, just before Orlando's mouth covered his own.
"Christ, that's good."
"Christ?" asked Sean, continuing to knead the tense muscles in Viggo's shoulders.
"Yeah. Friend of Astin's. Way too good for that world."
"Oh. Where is he now, then?"
Viggo gestured off to the right. "He's over there with the other good guys. You know, Mohammed, Buddha, Mother Theresa and the rest of them. Too many to count, really. They look after the best of the best; you know, like the unicorn, pixies, fairies, angels and the like."
"Oh. I suppose if there are good guys, there must be bad guys?"
"You bet. Gonna have to watch some of the Jinn Minor pretty fucking carefully, if this is their idea of best." Viggo gestured to the left. "They kept teasing the good guys, so now I make them stay over there. That's Beelzebub with the horns. Next to him is Genghis Khan, Hitler, Imelda Marcos... oh hell, there are bloody thousands of them, too. Can never remember all their names. They look after what I think of as the worst of the best. Stuff like the dragon, chimera and gremlins. Good luck to 'em, is all I can say."
Viggo rested his head back down and flexed his shoulders under Sean strong fingers.
"More," he purred.
"And just what are you proposing to do with that?" asked Elijah, eying first Orlando and then the chocolate bar with equal amounts of interest.
Viggo pushed Sean's heavy leg from his thighs and climbed out of bed. He stretched and savoured the ache in his ass that only a damn good shagging could produce.
Wandering over to the window, he pushed back the curtains to survey his world and all that filled it.
He looked from the highest mountain to the smallest grain of sand and frowned.
It wasn't bad per se, but it wasn't perfect.
Walking over to the bed, he slapped Sean sharply on the ass.
After a bark of surprise, Sean mumbled blurrily, "Vig? 'the fuck?"
"Come on, Sleeping Beauty," said Viggo, planting a kiss on the reddened cheek. "We're getting the list out again and going through it with a fine-toothed comb. All is not right in the world."
"Okay, okay. Um. Vig? Sleeping who?"
Sean had made the list, and he'd checked it twice, but he still couldn't figure out how he had missed this the first time around.
Were those smudges chocolate and grease?
Fucking Billy and the deep fried Mars Bars. Yup, there they were. The entry right before Orlando's name. Sean had been so relieved when Viggo divvied up the Mars Bars between the good guys and the bad guys. He'd found he really hadn't been able to concentrate with them lying about the place, all hot and greasy.
"Hey, Vig, check this out. Do you remember what Orlando sent up? I can't find any record of it here."
Viggo looked at the blank space next to Orlando's name and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"I think we had best pay Orlando a little visit."
The water was cool, but with a bit of effort, they'd managed to remove all trace of chocolate from each other's hard to reach places. Scrubbed pink and glowing, they were just beginning to appreciate, once again, those particular qualities in each other.
"Stand up, Orli," said Elijah a syrupy voice.
Elijah's voice reminded Orlando of the taste of Mar Bars and he staggered eagerly to his feet.
"Oh, yes," said Elijah, watching Orlando's hardening cock pulling free from the water. Elijah paddled closer and lowered himself until he was eye to eye with it. He slid his hands around the back of Orlando's thighs to stop himself drifting away, and then pulled firmly, drawing Orlando's cock straight between his lips and into the warmth of his mouth. He suspected he could still taste chocolate and licked thoroughly over every ridge and plane of Orlando's wonderful cock.
Orlando's hands came to rest lightly on Elijah's damp hair, gently encouraging and caressingly appreciative.
It was then that a regrettable series of events took place.
It began when Elijah snagged Orlando's dick with one of his teeth.
That caused Orlando to gasp and look down, just as Elijah mumbled an apology and looked up.
Orlando stared down into the wide blue of Elijah's eyes and was promptly, completely lost.
Orlando continued to stand like a lemon, utterly mesmerised, as Viggo and Sean arrived.
Elijah resorted to biting Orlando's cock quite hard, in order to make him aware of their arrival.
Unsurprisingly, Orlando erupted into action, pulling his cock out and pushing Elijah's head underwater, even though he knew it was too late.
Sean's quick reactions saved Elijah from drowning.
When Viggo lifted a spluttering Elijah from the water and their eyes met, he was not lost.
In fact, he suspected he might well have found what he'd been looking for.
Liv looked at Orlando with concern. Yes, she knew it was his own fault, but-- and her lower lip wobbled-- it was just too sad.
And this bloody rain wasn't helping.
There had been about two days when the sky had been blue! Brilliant, bright blue-- no longer the dull grey of the Emptiness-- and the clouds had looked wonderful against it. But then the blue had faded and it had started to rain.
And rain and rain.
"Orli, honey? If the bunny's not working for you, try a kitty. A good cuddle always makes me feel better."
It had all happened so fast. It had taken a couple of days for Elijah to finally understand that he would never see Orlando again.
Now, every time he thought of Orlando, his brow creased, his lip quivered and his beautiful blue eyes dulled and faded as they filled with tears.
And he thought of Orlando a lot.
"Oh, shit," said Sean, as the skies opened for what seems like the millionth time. 'Here we go again," he added, picking up on the first ring. "Good morning, Viggo's office. How may I help you?" He rested his forehead against the palm of his hand and closed his eyes. "Hey, Liv," he said in a dejected monotone, continuing to say, 'yes', 'no' and 'uh huh' at regular intervals until finally Liv rang off.
"What'd she have to say this time?" asked Viggo, staring out at the watery sky.
"Where do I start?" bemoaned Sean, but began counting off on his fingers. "Her bunnies are wet again and she'd just got them dry. Dom's creepy crawlies have been flushed from their holes and are wreaking havoc. She wants you to send the Noah guy back down right now. Judging by the splash, I think she actually stamped her foot. Billy and Dom are irresponsible and do nothing but surf... and she's worried about Orlando."
Viggo's lips compressed into a thin line.
Sean sighed and answered the next call. "Good morning, Viggo's office. How may I help you?"
It didn't rain all the time, but the grey never cleared and even in Head Office things were beginning to get a little tense.
The good guys were doing their best to make Elijah happy.
He knew this and tried to appear grateful, but when they kindly offered him a deep fried Mars Bar, all he could think of was Orlando, and his eyes welled and flooded once more. This threw them into a miasma of guilt and misery. The bad guys jeered and offered Elijah another Mars Bar whenever it looked like the tears might dry up.
It was not a fun place to be.
When Caller ID displayed Liv's number for the fifth time that morning, Sean decided enough was enough. He was going to make Viggo see sense.
Taking out his earpiece, he headed for Viggo's office, where he found him watching rain flood the valleys below.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know," said Viggo, before Sean could open his mouth. "I really thought they'd get over it. I figured it was just a crush. Instead my beautiful world is turning into a swamp."
"Poor Vig", said Sean and hugged him hard when Viggo leant against him.
"Yeah." sighed Viggo. "But I can't just give in and give him back. For one thing, I like the sky blue. And for another, Orlando tried to pull a fast one and if he gets away with it, it'll give the other Jinn ideas."
Sean thought for a moment, then said, "Why don't you just give 'em back their best, Vig. Give them all back their best."
"Won't work, Sean. You know I can't make stuff out of nothing."
"True," agreed Sean. "But maybe you could keep just enough and smudge the edges a bit so that when they're returned, in the eyes of the Jinn, they're still perfect. Different but still perfect."
It was a good idea, but Viggo grumbled and groused. He'd worked quite hard on the world already, thank you very much.
However with the added intimation of no 'hot man sex' unless it stopped raining, for the most part, Viggo did as Sean advised.
When the unicorn picked its way carefully through the carpet of rabbits to wiffle its warm breath against her neck, Liv did not even notice the missing horn and rejoiced. And the clouds remained white.
Billy wasn't best pleased when the dragon reappeared, even without its fiery breath. However, if he'd been pressed, he would have admitted that the smile on Dom's face made it 'okay'. And the sunset remained red.
All rejoiced at the return of the deep fried Mars Bar, which remained unchanged and perfect in every way, as even Viggo could not find a sensible use for it.
"But what of Elijah?" you ask.
Elijah was of course returned to Orlando. And they rejoiced noisily and at length, even though Elijah was no longer quite as perfect as Orlando's original thought and desire.
Viggo had been firm, but fair.
So, you see, dear children, although it was a trial to wear them, Elijah never really minded the thick dark frames he wore to see clearly ever after. Nor did Orlando, who would on occasion lift them, for old time's sake, and let himself be dazzled by the unimpeded flash of Elijah's brilliant blue eyes. And without his glasses to see with, dear children, this did not freak Elijah out at all.
And, as you must have guessed, the sky did indeed remain blue.